The heavy desire for sleep evaded her body an hour ago. She still could not bear to get up. She was given the gift of peace this morning. She desperately tried to sleep. Her body ached and she felt her stomach turning. Her body was screaming to start the day but her mind wanted to stay wrapped in sheets, lost in a delicious, Kindle treat.
She decided to satisfy her body and soul: a cup of coffee, eggs of her choice, with the next chapter, on the couch. She could hardly bear her excitement! Every idea, every want, every need was all hers! No one to check in with, argue with, compromise with, or even bribes, or blackmail (the latter tactic was her last resort). She was acting like such a bear lately. Lack of sleep, time, and sanity can make the kindest person a Grizzly. This Mama Grizzly was finally heard. Silence danced everywhere.
She looked at the holiday decorations in the kitchen. The nursery school treasures gave her heart a reminiscent tug every year. Then…. it hit her….. She was alone. Yes, her husband dropped the kids at Grandma’s. He would be back later for their twenty-four hour date. Her stomach flipped. It was no longer hunger speaking to her. It was the screaming silence making her body ache. Before she knew it the silence would be the norm. Her children will be gone from their home. Her husband may be gone one day too. She may be the “sick” one but that does not guarantee she will go first…
“Be careful what you wish for” she whispered. The foreshadowing silence draped around her like a shroud. Her bare emotions sang a song for her, and her alone….She jumped at the sound of her husband’s keys in the door.
*This piece was inspired by the twisted relationship I have with my family. Sometimes all I wish for is a day to myself. When I am granted that wish, I cry every time the children leave my home. My husband laughs at me and calls me a nut. This is true. This mama bear loves her family so much, and I know nothing lasts forever.