This time I am late for coffee. You saw my stressed scowl. I know you saw me clumsily spilling the contents out of my wallet while I was attempting to pay for my coffee. Thanks for not telling me you saw me. Yes, It has been “a week” for the both of us: social obligations.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this time of year is crazy! I know that isn’t news. Every year at this time is a new chapter in crazy. My title of my nonexistent memoir is hardly a “How To” or even a “Dummies Guide”… It’s The Spastic Adventures of…. Oh? We share the same title of a nonexistent memoir? I always knew we were kindred spirits.
I know you get it. We all feel like an uncoordinated whirlwind. We feel like everyone is watching us. The truth is we are all too focused on trying not to trip over our own feet to notice anyone else. Yes, there are those who enjoy observing others trips and falls, but they are blind to the chasm opening directly behind them-
“What?” “There?” “Thanks!”
As the muscles in my retinol, moisturized, and pickled face start to relax, you motion that the youth- preserving lotion did not blend well on my forehead again. Ugh! Sometimes I wonder if all this anti-aging stuff is a scheme just to make us look silly.
Oh, yes…My point. Let’s get back to social obligation. It’s very easy for moms to retreat into their sweat pants and decide to cancel social plans at the last minute, simply because we are too damned tired. If you are a working, stay-at-home, or somewhere-in-between, you are pulled in a thousand directions all day. The idea of getting dressed and going out at night feels like torture at 5:00 pm when all heck breaks loose in your home. Your mentally-done-parenting-alarm goes off, and you are…DONE!
Recently, I told you I was invited to a mom’s night out for my little’s class. I had every excuse not to go.
I was exhausted from the holidays.
I did not want to pull my pump out, take my blood, or have a sugar low in front of women I don’t know. Drinking a juice box in a state of delirium might cost my daughter future play dates.
I got up at 4:50 am.
I have extreme social anxiety around women.
Are these reasons valid? Yes. Was I making excuses? Yes. I really wanted to get into my sweatpants, watch TV, and call it a night.
After speaking with my coach, my husband, I begrudgingly got into my car, make up on, hair down, and no sweatpants..Sigh…
After a few longing thoughts of turning the car around and calling it a night, I made it. I am glad I did. I did the right thing.
Social obligations are out of my comfort zone. In my alter-coach-ego I encourage the Fabulous and Fit Mamas to break out of their fitness comfort zones. It is only right that I expand out of my social zone.
You look at me for a moment. I can tell you have something to add.
You tell me, “My issue is the opposite. I am trying to get better at saying No to social gatherings.”
I nod my head in agreement. You raise an awesome counterpoint. What if we don’t take the time to relax in our sweat pants at all? What if we are always ON because we are afraid we will crumble under social scrutiny if we dare flick our OFF switch?
I am careful with my response because I am afraid to say too much, or sound preachy.
“I think we need to get out of our own way. Somehow find that balance between wanting to do things, not wanting to do things, and trying to please others through doing things…. What I really mean is…. We have to be honest about why we do things!”
We look at each other and share a commiserative laugh. We both have no idea how to solve these issues. At least we got a candid conversation started.
We order another cup of coffee so we can talk longer. Because we want to.