Stream of Consciousness Saturday

View

Thank you Linda G. Hill for this awesome SoCS prompt:View

“Our View” my friend and I exhale while we exchange a knowing, nostalgic look. Our View is in Cancun, Mexico. Our Hotel captured the sea of resorts, the blue choppy water, and the breeze of endless possibilities and adventure (and a little bit of naughty) that changed the course of our lives. At home we were dealing with messy, unhealthy relationships that needed to end… like six months before. Our view represents a time when necessary transitions were made, with many drinks in hand, dancing till dawn, and never looking back.

Three years later “Our View” greeted me everyday when I came home from a job that I despised. “Our View” was now the New York Skyline. After the original “Our View” in Cancun, Mexico, I got rid of the toxic-messy, continued to dance, tried my first Appletini, attempted speed dating, and never stopped laughing. Our New York View I shared with my new husband. The City’s Skyline greeted me with the juxtaposition of manmade genius and nature’s gift of the sunset. Every day, after a miserable day of work, Our View centered me, excited me. Here I was in a place I never dreamed I would live, with the man I loved. I put my hand on my belly and imagined the change to come, the promise, and the hope, just like The New York Skyline.

I sit here writing from “My View.” My view is in the nook of our family’s kitchen. Yes, my suburban backyard view does not have the sexiness of an ocean, or the sophistication of a skyline, but I don’t care. In between my childrens’ crudely- taped-to-the-window-artwork, the sun creeps through our backyard and blankets the day with promise. My view has transformed into a state of mind: The peaceful silence before I am needed, wanted, or demanded. The time where I can think, plan and everyone can leave me the heck alone!

The views in my life lead me here. I think of them often. However, I do not want to go back to being an insecure, single girl, or a (still insecure) newly married, twenty-something. Those views are priceless, but it’s more important to me to view my present life in a positive, grateful life, rather than escape my problems by looking at a beautiful view. Maybe some day I will find a beautiful view again, but it will be just that, beautiful-no drama or angst attached.

 

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