If we were having-Oh, wait! I have to cancel our coffee date this weekend. My nephew was born last night! We are going to meet him on our scheduled coffee day. I’m going to miss talking with you. I will have so much to share with you during our next caffeinated therapy session.
How about I take you on an imaginary coffee date? I hoped to talk to you about events that will take place this week. Let’s pretend that everything went smoothly and perfectly. Yes, like a contrived Facebook picture? OK!
First, we enjoy our coffee on my distressed, wood table. Yes, I know you had no idea what kind of table I have because it’s covered with a plastic table cloth and daily , necessary clutter. I will serve us coffee in the coffee set I never use, but I love dearly. It’s so pretty. I registered for it. The polka dots called to me in Bloomingdales. Yes, in my imaginary world I will serve lunch on my china! The kids? The kids are visiting their grandparents. Do you want a mimosa or three?
How about a cupcake? On this imaginary coffee date they are just as healthy as kale. In fact, my cupcake experience is what I hoped to share with you. If we were having coffee, I would tell you it was my big girl’s school birthday celebration on Friday. I made vanilla cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles. I never made cupcakes before, and I think they turned out well. I was so proud that I was able to do that for her. It brings me such joy. I want her to know (that in my mind) her birthday is a national holiday. I want her to remember me making her cupcakes, pancakes, decorating for holidays. I also want her to remember me as being fearless. She tells me she wants to do pull ups like Mommy. Push ups like Mommy. I want my daughters to view my choices as fearless, comforting love. Does that make sense?
I have this vision of the four of us walking the big girl into school on Friday: Mommy, Daddy, Baby, and the Big Girl. Daddy is carrying the obnoxious cupcake carrier. I am holding my girls’ hands. We drop the big girl at her classroom and kiss her goodbye. We walk away holding the baby’s hand. Her drunken sailor walk wobbling between us. We know the big girl will enjoy her cupcakes during snack time. I hope she remembers this memory (this fantasy memory) always. It’s not about the cupcakes. It’s about the fearless love her family has for her and each other.
By the time our fantasy coffee date is over, I will be ready to make a real coffee date with you. I will tell you about what really happened at the cupcake drop off. I will also tell you about when I met my nephew, Baby L. I will tell you how I fell in love with him. I will tell you this over miss matched coffee mugs and a plastic table cloth. I will tell the children I love the most to “Shhh” because Mommy is trying to have a an adult conversation with the friend I rarely get to see. Polka dots are nice but I will take the real any day.
This post is dedicated to B, C, M, and Baby L.
This post is linked to the fabulous blog Part-Time Monster.