#RevofKindness

Momming and Kindness

Week Four- Be Kind

Week Four Summary: Kindness. Kindness is a loaded word. The past four weeks I  have examined the many layers of kindness in my life. However,  EXHAUSTION is the word of this week. Yes, you are probably nodding your head with empathetic vigor.

Momming is a loaded word too. Momming is so much more than taking care of children. Momming is  like smoothly directing traffic on a crumbling bridge. Are you still with me? I love Momming but I am exhausted. Are you still nodding with me?

Kindness and Momming do not always mix. Moms get so caught up in the crazy clock (my mother-in-law’s term)  that the stressed out sounds of  sighs and snarls  replace speaking kindly, or saying everything with a hug. Do you snarl too? I do.

This week I consciously added kindness into the mix. I have not blogged as much. This week my priority was to rejuvenate  the root of  my kindness, my home, with rest. My household needed a nap.

Tuesday: After enjoying Memorial Day weekend, it happened. My big girl had a melt down while doing homework: crying, her head on the table. Instead of threatening, yelling, or having a tantrum myself, I spoke to her in soft tones and let her cry. She needed it. She was exhausted. We did get the homework done. I sent her to school. I worried about her all day. She was fine. I was fine. We moved on and had a busy, tear-free afternoon for the both of us.

Wednesday: The baby had not napped in three days because of the weekend activities. Instead of running with the big girl to gymnastics and snatching the baby out of the crib, followed by more tears, more rush, more yelling, I decided that we were taking a break. The baby finally napped. The big girl played on the swingset with Grandma and Grandpa. Playing outside is almost taboo these days. Spending time with grandparents is a cherished time that is often cut short by the grind. Later, the big girl, the baby, and I drew with chalk on the driveway. I chose  to be kind to my kids and myself because I ignored the beckoning, shrill of the crazy clock. I chose the gentle, rejuvenating call of kindness.

Everyday: Kindness is choosing to pause and think about the world outside of our Over-Stuffed-To-Do-Lists-Head. It’s opening a door for someone. It’s slowing down the crazy clock. It’s being quiet and listening.It’s taking the time to play. Kindness is a Pause, a necessary one. Pause. Be Kind. Take a Nap. Momming will be there. Be grateful for that.

Attachment-1

 

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16 thoughts on “Momming and Kindness

  1. I LOVE the way you incorporated this week’s focus into your life! What a great way to be mindful of yourself, your role as a mom and your family. It feels SOOOOO good to slow down and hit pause sometimes! I love how you were able to be more attentive and nurturing by slowing down. Sounds like this week was much needed and paid off in many ways!

    When I started my personal journey to being a kinder person and a better version of myself, I realized just how unkind I was. I was that mom that yelled, I was quick to lose my temper or pop a hand or butt. It’s been over a year since I popped a hand or butt (with the exception of a two finger hand tap for my 18 month old…) and I can’t even remember the last time I yelled! Our house is so much more peaceful, my daughter feels so much more supported and secure in herself even when she makes a mistake or just does things kids do…

    I’m so excited that you are so open to this challenge and that you are applying it in the way you are. I can see so many benefits by you evaluating and adjusting according to the self-discoveries you make. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey! I hope it just gets better from here!

    You might enjoy this, I started in January and having 1 thing to focus on for an entire month has helped me to continue to be more gentle, patient and kind. My husband and I read it together at the beginning of the month and then remind each other throughout the month if we start to fall into old habits.

    http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/01/01/12-steps-to-gentle-parenting/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Niki. Your challenge helps me look at the reasons for my actions and what needs to change. I live in a Type A area. I am Type A too but I have to learn when to shut off the noise! Like you, I want a peaceful home. I have to stop and look around to do that. Thank you for creating this journey. I will check out the book too. Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I used to be type A, I call myself a reformed perfectionist. I have been so surprised by the peace of mind and the beauty of life after I stopped by type A ways. It wasn’t easy and it has taken me YEARS, but I’ve finally mastered it and things are so different! I’m much more easy going, flexible, and less stressed. I don’t have this need to control things, plan things, be on top of every little detail or any of the other crazy self-imposed things I’d do to myself that stressed me out, made me stuffy and pretty unlikeable if I’m honest with myself… not saying that’s you, I’m just writing what I’m realizing about myself as I look back to who I was before I started my personal self-improvement journey. The link is for a blog post, it’s a quick little paragraph for each month, a great start to ease your way in! Now that you brought up a book… this is one that my husband and I need to get back to reading that can be applied to life not just kids but its excellent! It’s called “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk”

        https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-ebook/dp/B005GG0MXI?ie=UTF8&qid=1464946916&ref_=la_B00288MYEM_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1

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      2. Yes. I do find myself annoying at times. This may sound silly but I need a vacation. I need to disconnect to reconnect properly. I need to find my own way here. I can’t be a lunatic 24/7.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That doesn’t sound silly at all. It sounds like your tuning into yourself and wonderful things come from that. If you can’t take a vacation, what are mini vacations you can take throughout the day to help you find your way? Could you schedule a time/activity or take advantage of an opportunity (big girl at school and the baby sleeping etc.)? Keep tuning into yourself and you’ll find the way 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well, we are going away in a few weeks. But, tomorrow my husband and I are taking the big girl to lunch and a play. The baby will be with her grandparents. Then we will all meet up later.That is a mini vacation for me!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lovely way to break your weeks kindness into days and positively identifying the key moments where you were not only applying kindness but also mindfulness to recognise the time that a kindness is truly needed.

    Difficult with young children at times because the demands are high but I found (as the mommy daddy) kindness applied was returned in spades….it was when the mind fatigued that things lost calm and stress grew.

    Lovely thoughts and thank you for sharing 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are deservedly welcome. I empathised with this post and it has my nodding in nostalgic remembrance. Can’t yet decide if teenage angst is more challenging or not….less demanding, but other issues requiring kindness and resolve are always ready to bite 🙃

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the way you intentionally paired kindness and rest. My family has been on the frantic treadmill for too long. Part of the reason we initially got on was so that I didn’t have to deal with the difficult things. It was easier to “keep everybody running” than to truly work through issues. Trying to slow down and reevaluate now. Just did the first week of this challenge. So hard, but I’m going to keep pressing on towards the goal.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the way you used every day routines to intentionally take a step back and stay kind. Kindness really does come in all forms and it’s so important to look after ourselves so we can give the best to others. Lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

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