Self Kindness Deficiency

This is the first prompt from Niki’s The Richness of a Simple Life’s

Kindness Challenge: Week I Focus- Self Kindness

Practicing Self Kindness…

I am horrible at self kindness. I am not the woman who mediates towards self love or begins the day with a positive daily affirmation.

I begin the day with copious cups of coffee coupled with the  motivational, loud chanting of anxiety.

I am self aware of my self kindness deficiency.  I am not looking to blame people, or life events. It’s who I am. I own it. I do realize it’s not always pleasant living with a glass half empty  kind of person. Sometimes the glass shatters. I try my best to clean up the pieces and move on. I am usually embarrassed, but I move on and promise not to get myself in such a state, until the next time.

Recently, some people disappointed me.  I immediately assumed they were out to get me. I started fantasizing about moving away and starting over because my name was probably being dragged through the mud during conversations at pick up!

A few days later, I realized my disappointment was not personal. People are careless and self absorbed, and even the kindest people overlook things. We are all overscheduled and busy. Things happen.

When I feel the crazy, self hatred wheels spinning, I am sane enough to take the following steps to attempt self kindness:

  1. Be Quiet- Do not say or do anything volatile to large group of people that will force me to move later: shouting behind my keyboard on social media, or stomping my feet and ignoring others like a spoiled child.
  2. Vent-Vent like a crazy person to those safe and sorry souls who know I am conducting the crazy train. They listen and move on and won’t tell everyone I lost it, again.
  3. Cook-I get lost in the kitchen. The symphony of cooking is therapeutic. My family benefits greatly.
  4. Read- I absorb myself in a fictional character’s drama. Her drama is so much sexier than mine.
  5. Family-I cocoon myself within my family. I plan special family time with my husband and daughters whether they want to hang out with me or not.
  6. 3-R’s-Time– This is the most important step. It’s time to regroup, rethink, and reframe. Most of the time that’s enough. I have removed myself from negative situations after I had the time to regroup, rethink, and reframe to make that difficult decision.

I utilize the self awareness techniques above to live mindfully for my family and me. I believe self awareness is a form of self kindness. I certainty do not live in self denial because that makes me a traitor to myself which is the most unkindest cut of all.

Marcus Antonius:
For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar’s angel.
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar lov’d him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Caesar saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors’ arms,
Quite vanquish’d him: then burst his mighty
heart. . . .

Julius Caesar Act 3, scene 2, 181–186






12 thoughts on “Self Kindness Deficiency

  1. What an amazing self-reflection! I particularly love your last step, reminds me of a quote that got me through the last phase of pessimism “It’s just a bad day not a bad life”. I told myself that so much I believed it and the more I believed it the less I realized I was trying to convince myself of something that was simply true… So glad to have you take part in this, can’t wait to see where it goes from here!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d like to challenge you to change the relationship you have with viewing self-kindness. For example, before I considered it “selfish” to do anything for myself, now I call it “maintenance”. How can you change your view on your self-kindness level? No need to answer, just something to ponder as we move into week 2! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you! I appreciate your kind words! I was not sure if I approached the prompt correctly! I love your quote ” it’s just a bad day not a bad life”. It’s true and I need to digest that truth. Thank you for challenging me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There is no right or wrong. This is a chance for everyone to embark on a journey together and tell it from their own perspective and voice their own truth. This is yours and it’s laid out beautifully! Thank you for being so open to receiving it!

        Liked by 1 person

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