Allowed

Go ahead. Ask yourself this question: “Why is everyone else allowed to be happy?”

It sounds silly and childish when I say it out loud. I asked myself this question about two years ago. I was tired of being angry with others. I was done with the arduous process of toxic friend removal. It was exhausting resenting others who were unapologetically happy, but had issues with my happiness.

There is a fine line between making a point and acting like a spoiled child. Adults turn their back on the child kicking and screaming in the grocery store. It proves a point. Some adults take the same approach when their peers experience success and joy. To some,  A child’s grating screams are synonymous to listening to other’s happiness.  All they want is to punish anyone whose light casts a blinding spark inside their bleak reverie.

Nobody will ever “allow” me to be happy. I can stamp my feet all I want. I can kick people out of my life until I am alone. Nothing will change, unless I reframe my thinking, and I stop searching for a Happy Allowance. Happiness is self-made. Happiness is earned. Happiness is not approval from a jealous friend or bitter coworker. How can that person sprinkle me with happiness when she has none to allow herself?

The A to Z Challenge is an opportunity for me to celebrate NOT justify who I am.

I allow myself to do just that.

“A” Draft